Carol the Van

image

Since every other part of Carol is practically new……

We’ve got quotes on replacing her transmission.

It will cost $3500 or more for her to get a rebuilt transmission. I’ve been calling around looking for a transmission to buy and get quotes from my favorite HondaWorks to put it in. So it would be a better conditioned transmission.  If I had not put so much money into Carol already ……, her new engine has only 80,000 miles on it. Everything in her is practically new. Now all she needs is a transmission and maybe I have a great van for about 10 or more years???     Her replaced parts have warranties.

Sitting around stranded at home with all these boys and Anna has been challenging. We can not all fit into hubby’s work car. So NO library trips, no park trips, no field trips, etc.

Reworking my schedule and appointments. I can not take the children, I have 2 in car seats so logistically it simply does not work.

Carol the Van… despite her issues and the short time I have driven her, has been such a blessing to us.

I was able to bring home a gifted book shelf in her, Costco trips, I could fit all of my kiddos and groceries too. We could take library trips, Walmart trips, ride to grandparents, yard sale or estate sales, anything. Carol represents freedoms for our large family and She represents living life and having fun.

 

Advertisements

Letting it go… ‘venting’

I’ve been thinking A LOT lately about my accident from two years ago. Trying to again, come to terms with things, such as our finances, where I am in recovery, my health, medical bills.

I have medical issues aside from my accident related issues. I’ve felt physically bad lately. I work very hard, but lately I sit and rest in between chores and duties around here.

I’ve felt a huge sense of frustration. My frustrations are currently focused on people. Those who want to be social justice warriors and rescue criminals.
I’m really bothered that some people chose to raise money for and pay the large bail that was set, for the illegal alien who hit me.

( I feel, he should not have had a bail set at all!!!)

He’s an illegal alien!!!

He left the scene of the accident!!!

He got out of the work vehicle he was driving and He took off running!!!

His  vehicle was full of empty alcohol containers!!!

From his finger prints, it was found out, this was NOT his first offense.

He had a habit of drinking and driving.

He couldn’t be charged with DUI, because he left the scene didn’t get his blood tested or a breathylyzer and he wasn’t found for about a week.

His charges were puny, like assault and battery, unsafe movement, felony hit and run, open container, not lawful following traffic signal, I don’t remember how it was exactly worded and I don’t care to look at the police report anymore.

I felt screwed over by the guy who hit me, and by those in charge who did NOT keep me safe. If they could not keep the guy in jail, the least they could have done, would be to deport him. He never showed for court. He “disappeared”!)

IMG_7484
A few days after the accident. My nurse assistant showing me how much better my face looked.

 

 

I’m need to share and vent about the situation, so I can move along again. I think I’m healed completely emotionally, then sometimes these feelings creep in and I must address them. I don’t really talk to anyone about them. I have tried a time or two, in the past.

I am not allowed to completely vent my feelings, before I’m told, ” You can’t do anything about it, so you should just be grateful for your and your baby’s life and move on.” ( I was 36 weeks pregnant the day of the accident.)

That is what I’ve done. I am grateful and I have moved on.

I’m so very grateful for our lives. I have friends who were in less serious car accidents and “small” fender benders, who lost their babies to death before arriving at the hospital.

I know the same could have and should have happened to me, as bad as I was hit. It is a total MIRACLE, A G-d thing!!! That she and I are here today and both walking and talking and breathing on our own. My neck was broken at a level where I could have been on a ventilator and in a wheelchair for the rest of my life, but I am breathing on my own and walking. My saving grace, my spinal cord was squished but not severed.

My entire focus for rehab and recovery was  being able to 100% physically take care of myself and my family without physical assistance. Which I have mostly accomplished.

I don’t want to be told How grateful I should be. I am grateful. Very grateful and so very blessed beyond measure. I really needed to just let this side out also. The anger, and it be okay to let the anger out. Not making me any less grateful or happy that we survived. But also to fully heal and recover and let go of anger. I am told the anger could be part of the reason I am in so much pain. Not just from my having surgeries and my spine fused.

I have to let go and let G-d. Part of that is me sharing what’s on my heart without judgement. Just getting it out.

I’m also making this vent public, just in case there is someone else experiencing what I have and maybe wants to talk about it or know the anger is part of healing too. I just don’t live in the anger but feel it and move on.

I think people think having a bunch of illegals roaming around, is a victimless crime. Someone told me it’s equivalent to stealing cable and told me “every body does it”. I’ve never stolen cable!!! never considered it either. But that is another post…

 

Miscellany Post Random

Thursday was such a long event exhausting day! I had my first visit with a particular specialist. I got an awesome vibe from this doctor. I’m a skeptical RN patient. I know and I’ve seen way too much. This doctor knew this about me and was not put off at ALL. He knew it was so not about him and that was apparent! He sold himself well and spoke to my heart. That being said, I have a very brief hospital visit coming soon.

IMG_0198

So…. Carol the van, her check engine light came on.  She felt weak and lost her gusto. She would hesitate when i take my foot off the brake, instead of zooming forward with her normal liveliness. I called my normal Asiaworks and they are closed for vacation until next week. So I went to their other office,  Hondaworks on Scaleybark. Denny gave me some bad news. Carol’s transmission is giving out. This doesn’t surprise me but totally ticks me off, making a hard day really a test of my resolve and heart. I knew immediately it would be an expense I can not currently afford.  We’ve been using up our saving, since I got hit by that illegal alien drunk driver 2 years ago. We have good insurance but I still have a ton of out-of-pocket expenses.

(Excuse my “lack of compassion” for illegals and this entire D.A.C.A.  and D.A.P.A situation….. no one is paying my bills but me and I’m still suffering physically and financially two years later, for something NOT at my fault at all!!!)

My Odyssey year up to 2007 are notorious for terrible transmissions. It been one hellacious thing after another. I will only purchase another used vehicle if either Asiaworks checks it for me or Compact Cars on Independence boulevard near Matthews will check it out for me and say its a great buy!! AJ’s shop isn’t worth the mention.

image

I absolutely ADORE Harris Teeter home shop or shop online program!!! I’ve shopped Harris Teeter since I was a child. They’ve given me excellent customer service. I actually save money by not going inside the grocery store. I buy my list instead of looking at everything. I check my E-Vic weekly and make my order online for what I want. They even take coupons but it credits on your next purchase.

What am I Sowing? {Mindful Mothering Mondays}

The little boys and I have given lots of thought to our small garden this year. I bought some really cheap seeds and really cheap dirt to start our seedlings inside early. We have read lots about spacing, sun, watering and what plants to plant near what to keep away bugs or encourage growth.

God has really been speaking to my heart on this; through our little seeding, planting and harvesting study; about my children.  What am I sowing?  Do I feed  it properly, am I nurturing properly, am I giving the proper amount of warmth, space, pruning.

Raising plants and children are not easy jobs. Both are very rewarding if done properly. Both require lots of time and energy, both physically and mentally. God can and will bless efforts of both.

I will reap what I have sown. Good bad and ugly.

Being chronically ill, I have to watch my attitude. I set the tone of my home. I can not take anything personally. I must constantly remember and think about what I am saying and doing and how it will affect how my children see God.

I want to reap a large harvest of family and friends in heaven! I’d also love to have lots to eat this spring, summer and fall 🙂

Babbling about PPD

I am struggling greatly with postpartum depression. I feel as if I need some rest and mothering right now. I haven’t had a break since I had the baby, except when I was in the hospital.
I feel because I was so ill this pregnancy and stayed home A LOT, that I have been forgotten. I rarely attended church and haven’t gone to small group.
I can’t emotionally deal with other people’s issues and some questioning.
Someone told someone that I left my church and attend another church. I find it crazy how little rumors start and run rampant.
I know that I need to be surrounded by positive godly people until I heal from inside out.
I always have such a hard time after having my babies. I know it’s just a season.
I have some great children and I am so thankful for ALL of them!

Tomorrow is a new day!
This is the day The Lord hath made!
I will rejoice and be glad in it!

20121024-200935.jpg

A new day

I awakened this morning determined to be positive. I took the girls to school, came home long enough to have a bowl of oatmeal, returned to pick up the girls, took Kayla to work, returned the rental after I filled the gas tank. Cooked some dinner, took Kara to work but had to take Kayla’s car, my van started but cut of then started but battery light came on. Returned home to finish cooking dinner. Picked up Kayla after she called to tell me she was done at work. Had to explain why I was driving her car and when the van would be fixed. Worked more on dinner, had the boys eat, load the dishwasher and cleaned kitchen. I had planned to make cupcakes but did not.
I picked up Kara at 11. Then we stopped and grabbed few things at Bi-Lo. I came home, and told boys to sweep floor and go to bed. So I am typing my day on my phone before falling asleep.

20120814-005407.jpg

20120814-005420.jpg

20120814-005430.jpg

No labor yet, having “twinges”…

I’m having “twinges” that are somewhat regular but I don’t think it is labor. Not yet anyways 🙂

So I am cooking right now. Then I will shampoo my hair, it is quite unruly at present.

I plan to vacuum the living room and clean my room.

Then I will go re-pack my bags and check my list.

I don’t think I have enough food in my refrigerator to leave those at home while I go away for a couple of days when labor is really here. I need another day before I really labor.

Maybe a trip to the grocery store for a few more easy stuff. I may if I have time try to toss together baked chicken casserole with dressing and cream of something soup in it.  Maybe grab a few more loaves of bread and butter. I already bought milk Friday because the boys have been flying through chocolate milk, well….. milk period… Lately!

Would you like some cheese with that?….Survival Mode

I have wanted to blog but have lacked the time. We have had an unusually busy schedule and with my dead slaves (washer and dryer) I spend at least 2 to 3 trips a week at a laundromat. The owner is really nice and will help me and whomever I bring as a helper to my van, even though that is not his job. I am enjoying getting laundry done quicker. Instead of a half a day or more job, it takes a couple of hours.

We are approaching the end of our journey as one. This baby and I. My BP has been steadily rising over the past week or so. The hyperemesis is not being controlled by the Zofran. I am hoping to go into spontaneous labor sans induction. I am nervous about pending delivery, I tend to get ppd pretty bad lately, so I hope it is a normal labor, so I can quickly recover and return to exercising which really helps me stabilize my hormones better.

One of the twins plans to by a car this week. I am praying she and her sister can get themselves around  without my help now. Allowing me more time to spend with the boys,cooking, cleaning, sleeping and enjoying a new baby soon. It should be a blessing to our entire family in that way. I am so fatigued lately. Today I am doing a manic cleaning but I am so low energy I feel the need to lay down, although I have not since getting up.

We are on the hunt for a bunk bed. I specifically wanted a red metal to match the current one in the boy’s room, but at this point I just want a bunk bed set. I have a little guy sleeping on my sofa who needs a bed. Maybe I should pray for one again.

I think there is some water damage from my sink area. The middle of my kitchen floor feels “weird” and the old linoleum is cracking. I’m not sure whether to call a plumber first or if it is just old. Either way, I need a new sub-floor in my kitchen and new tile. I try not to freak out as things stop working in my old house. I happened to hear about Habitat’s Critical Home Repair and I am almost desperate enough to call and see if someone can come out and diagnose our problem with the kitchen floor. I want to fix it quickly. My overactive, hyper-analytical self is having all sorts of thoughts, like me walking into the kitchen to prepare a lovely meal for my family and falling through the kitchen floor.

I am so NOT sleeping well when I do sleep. I think baby has days and nights mixed up already. I have had intense back pain with contractions since Thursday and I simply can not get comfortable, despite taking every spare pillow in the house and propping something up with it.

My OB Dr. D. is going to be in and out-of-town over the next few weeks(family emergency). This has sent me into numerous panic attacks. I have one person whom I trust. I have an awfully long list of bad care received and not enough good to match. I don’t expect a lot. Some people just can not treat you a an individual. I am one that demands to not be lumped in a box or category with everyone else. I want to go to the hospital, have assistance if I need it and not be micro managed. My Dr. D gets it, some others get it, most do not. I am trying to trust that God will work it ALL out. Like HE did with DH has a full-time job with benefits! We have health insurance just in time for baby’s birth. That is a Big weight off my shoulders.  I need to get a sense of peace about the rest of the current happenings.

We should be better off financially, when I can save gas money. Still working on our water bill. We need to  get several people to trim their showers down from 45 minutes to 10 minutes. How do you do that?? A plumber told me, he can attach a regulator to my hot water heater. I can shut it of manually or digitally I think. I will probably need to invest in this to save water and money.  Maybe I’ll regain some energy. I am usually a pretty high-strung, hyper person. Being able to cook all of our meals again will keep us from breaking our food budget.

I am Currently in survival mode until further notice!

Back to Blogging:

In my absence a lot has transpired. I won’t go into details unless asked or requested. Long and short of it… I have been on strict bedrest, now I am on light duty off feet every two hours on left side. So I have spent most of my time trying to bring my home back to order. The laundry in the laundry room had taken over in mass proportions. I now can see the bottom of empty hampers. YEAH! I cleaned out my refrigerator and either fed dogs or compost with the few science experiments found. The Frugal Girl would be proud of me. There was only a couple of stray items in my refrigerator. (No Pictures, I failed to stop and capture the moment once I got started.)

I am currently in the process of rearranging my kitchen cabinets,with the assistance of Daniel of course! My goal is to focus on the small one step at a time and hopefully have this house back in order in a few weeks or so.

I am trying to organize the boys school work. I’d like to have a week ready at a time but I am not there yet. I have a few days ready. I am trying to regain strength after being sedentary for a little while. I moved their items to the kitchen where we tend to do our most productive work.  They can grab their stuff on their own. It is more accessible now.

I went grocery shopping and made my menu plan today.

MENU PLAN:

If the dinner plan contains gluten items, I usually make myself something different.

Saturday: leftovers galore to prevent food waste. Mostly hotdogs and whatever we had lurking that was less than 3 days old.

Sunday: Cabbage, Beef Kielbasa and rice

Monday: chili beans, homemade sweet corn muffins and asparagus

Tuesday: homemade vegetable and beef soup and corn muffins

Wednesday: baked chicken, baked potatoes, and peas

Thursday: Leftovers

Friday: Lasagna, garlic bread, dessert, and spinach

I need to make this week: pumpkin chocolate chip muffins, gluten-free chocolate chip pumpkin muffins, homemade yogurt, and french bread

I am going to try the crockpot method for making the yogurt. Also I only make 1/2 gallon at a time since I have been on bedrest and weight lifting restrictions.