Author: Angie

I love sipping hot coffee. I'm a married mom of 9 with one dog, a few grandsons and way TOO MANY flowers.

In 1991 on June 28th

This day twenty years ago I married my husband. I realized a little while ago that I have reach at time where I have lived with him longer than I lived at home with my parents. That is an interesting and sobering introspection.

We had a perfect first 7 years. The other 12 years,in between,were lesson of learning to cleave more to one another and break apron strings from family. Both of us had to learn that it was okay to tell Mom and Dad no, I need to discuss whatever it is with my spouse first.

The past year we have gone through a lot together and survived. I feel it has been for  the best. I have learned that I can truly trust my husband to “have my back” when things are horrible and that we can survive anything together with God. This year and last has also been a time for me to learn what it means to fully rely on God. For so long, I have depended more on my knowledge and strength to get me through things and would pray about it as an afterthought instead of first. Until now, I could not truly say I know what it means to truly believe and truly rely on God. Some times one can only learn by experience.  I feel a bit wearier but also wiser. I see things differently and I have a lot more empathy for others than I had before. My natural bend is to try to do things with perfection , precision and promptness. Personable has now married my list of adjectives describing myself.

Today I want to thank God for the husband he has given me and our wonderful children that have come for our union. I am thankful for my 20 years of marriage.

Food Waste Friday

I don’t have any food waste to report today. I do have a refrigerator full of food. It rarely looks this full. I have seven children, one who is a bottomless growing pit. I made tacos and all of the fixings last night. We will have that again for dinner tonight, since my children LOVE tacos.

Fridge 1
Fridge 2

Memes

I have been blog surfing looking for memes of the day. Hoping to get me out of this melancholy state that I am in. There are so many to chose from. I plan to post tomorrow for Kristen’s Food  Waste Friday.

I have decided to seriously look for something daily that makes me smile and capture a photo of it if possible.

I realized today that it has been at least a month since I have attended church. I burn copies of Sundays’ services from our church. Today, I had 3 weeks of Sundays to work on. I just haven’t felt well. I am usually a people person. I have not wanted to talk. It seems to deprive me of energy these days. It also can be lonely. It’s strange, I  really would not mind company. I just don’t feel like talking. I guess it is a stage of grief. I don’t really know. I would like to be out of this “funk” soon.

Back to memes…. I will post my plans when I figure out which ones more suit me and will be fun and not so much of a chore.

Classical Conversations

“The object of education is to prepare the young to educate themselves
throughout their lives.” ~~ Robert Maynard Hutchins

 

I attended a 3 day parent practicum in the Huntersville Area last week. It was the best thing that could have happened, at the right time. I have a renewed drive to follow a calling that God put in our family. I have listened so long to negative and I have needed help. I did not have the right kind of support to do it. Now I have a list of people who are praying for me and a list of people of  whom I may call when times get hard, who will remind me of things and give practical support.

I know homeschooling “isn’t for everybody”, even though I feel anyone can teach their own children.  I made some mistakes with my oldest twin daughter graduates, but they can wear the t-shirt that says, “I survived homeschooling!”  My  sons are different and learning looks different. I have permission for that to be okay. I used to be so hard on myself because we were not doing what everyone else is doing. Now I realize that we are learning differently but we are learning what we need to learn for a good solid classical education.  It’s is okay to accommodate your child’s need, for example; I have a child, he bounces while he is being read to, or he sits and turns.  He has to be in motion. That is not okay for public school or even private schools. It is okay for home, I have learned that when he is moving, he is listening to me. There was a  time when my focus was making him sit still and looking at me or my direction. He would mentally leave the room, you could see a blank look on his face. He could not answer questions. He just was not there. Do what works to teach your children.  However they are made, God made them for a purpose. Work with who you have, instead of spending time focusing on something that is really not that  important, but things others may look at and think you are clueless, like you child not  sitting  still. He is listening and he is learning, be happy and content.

I never wish hard times on any one. It feels good when you know you are not alone. Finding other people, who have survived trials, gives you a feeling that you can survive a trial too. I am now a big believer, that we need a support group of like minds.

Thoughts

I haven’t posted in a while. I just couldn’t put my thoughts into words. I have grieved oddly this time around. I feel lost and out of sorts. I have made list of my daily activities and basically, I do only what needs to be done. I have not wanted to leave my home. It is a chore to pack my recycle bags in the van and go to Aldi or the library or post office but I go when necessary. I am exhausted over doing  little things.  Today I am sad because my ob office took samples from baby to send for genetic testing. Their lab put the sample in the wrong solution so it was unusable. It was human error and there isn’t anything I can do about it. I did not really want to have the genetic testing. I knew that taking some tissue from my deceased child would not hurt him, but part of me feels bad about agreeing for testing. I kept thinking, I don’t really want to do this but if we find out something that helps us in the future, then maybe it is worth it. Now it seems to have been a waste of time and resources and I am very disappointed.  I have forgiven and I am moving on. It still hurts, I am a little bit broken-hearted over occurrences that are  out of my control.

 

MY Prayers

I am praying for and believing for the blessing of gainful employment for Ronnie. A place that told him he could work for them, instead rehired a person who recently quit to try out another job and found they did not really like it. We are praying for a near to home job since we only have one car now and want to save on gas unless a farther away job would pay enough to cover the gas bill round trip.

The girls are also looking for jobs to work part-time over the summer.

I am desperately in need of finding out what is going on with my blood. Either to be healed naturally or by something the doctors give me. It is really difficult having an energetic mind and not the body to match it. I see things that need to be done and I really want to do them. I sit a lot and rest because I have to, not because I want to.

I have some thing I am selling on ebay and Craigslist to pay bills. Praying for sells to go smoothly, easily and safely. I know God will take care of us. I am working hard to do whatever I can. Including keeping R supplied with resumes to take with him job hunting.

Blessing

My daughter Kayla has been a huge blessing for me this weekend by attacking a huge mound of laundry. I have been taking it easy this week since the birth of my baby. My hemoglobin is low also, so I walk around quite dizzy. I am having to arise slowly so I do not feel my heart beating in my head. I am supposed to get an iron infusion asap. After the afterbirth bleeding has completely ceased.

I am sitting right now planning to fold a pile of my clothes that are beside me.

Delivered May 22nd

After 24 hours of prelabor and 3 hours of hard labor I delivered my baby a little before midnight. I am recovering. My obgyn is running test to find out if there were any problems with the baby  and blood test to find out if there are problems with me. This is my third baby lost in less than a year.

Pastor Mirly

This morning about 1am the beloved Pastor Mirly died.

He was one of a few of the first people at Resurrection who talked to me and welcomed me, the first few times I visited about 8 years ago. He was a very wise man, loving and caring. He has a beautiful family both inside and out. They are all hard working, sweet spirited, loving and giving people. They are the picture of who we should be and what we are striving to be here on earth as Children of God.

I had child number 6 a little over four years ago. I can not remember if I told him people were saying things about me having another baby  in an unkind or harsh way or if he just heard on his own. I believe he said to me that he was child number 8 in his family. I don’t completely remember the conversation details. Knowing how much God has used him in my life and hundreds of others or maybe thousands in his lifetime. Encouraging me in cultivating a personal relationship with God. I thought really hard about that and felt more a sense of joy from my colicky screaming child that people told me I should not even ask for help with because I knew what I was getting myself into and had not stopped it. I had a severe case of ppd with Noah. He was so encouraging to me and prayed over Noah and I . He wanted me to know that I am not alone. God IS with me.

Noah was a SCREAMER not a crier. He still is pretty loud and sensitive to things we never notice. Pastor Mirly knew that God would, will one day, use this child to be the Glory of God. Noah is a blessing.

I am so privileged and honored to have been allowed to meet Pastor Mirly and for him to have played such an integral part of this thing called my life.

I love you Pastor Mirly and know you are enjoying sitting with Jesus!!

I got a Good Deal at Target

I am by no means one of those super coupon people. I do use them for mostly household items that are on sale or doubled or tripled at whomever has the best deal at the time.

Last week I was given about 6-$3.00 off Nivea shower soap coupons. I already had 2 of my own.

I went to Target looking for some other things on sale, like toothpaste. I saw the Nivea on sale for 3.19 per bottle. YES, I used all 8 coupons. I bought 8 bottles of the shower soap for 19 cents times 8 plus tax. YES, $25.oo dollars worth of shower gel for about two dollars!! The older lady that rang my purchases up asked me twice,”Did you really buy all of this stuff?”

I pulled ALL of the items out of my cloth bags and pointed at the labels and the receipt, proving I had all of the items. She shakes her head and stares at my receipt at least 30 seconds, before she begrudgingly  hands it to me.  This was a great deal for my large family. We rarely get deals this great.  I have felt my local Target’s customer service has been severely lacking lately. Maybe it is because I tend to shop when they first open and their workers are still sleeping? Maybe I’ll bring her a cup-a-coffee one day?

I am still trying to adjust their addition of a  grocery area to our Target. I just don’t know their layout anymore. They are no longer Target. They are Super Target.

I am so excited about good deals!!