Late Night/ Early Morning Rambled Musings:

If feeling soooo done with life a part of being 9 months pregnant or am I just lazy. Summer hasn’t arrived yet.

I am so done.

I made Stouffer’s Lasagna for dinner 2 days in a row. Fed my family canned veggies and grocery store deli bread that I turned into garlic bread.

I did spend 2 and a half hours at a laundromat with my 8-year-old son washing,drying and folding towels, little boy clothes and linens. So something was accomplished.

I still continue to feel a lack of motivation.

My garden is going slow because I have not sat down with the boys like we planned and seed our peat pods. They are still on the freezer in the laundry room.

I left laundromat before completely drying my last load to pick up Kara from work. Dropped Sam at home and took Kayla back home, she was just out to get a quick meal (She was starving and our Stouffer’s Lasagna wasn’t in the oven yet), then Kara and I returned to dry the remainder. It seem to go so fast with help ūüôā

I am only up right now because of an obnoxious nosebleed. Took forever to stop, still oozing but I need to go to bed now!

God smiled on Hubby at work tonight. He had a great evening. I was feeling rather bummed and rarely share that rundown feeling with him( I am afraid of dragging people down, when I want to be an encourager),  he prayed with me and told me God is with me. I instantly felt better and do not remember how bad I felt or even what precipitated that bad feeling in the first place.  God smiled on me to for blessing me with a husband that loves me and who really desires to do the right thing deep down and surprises me at the least expected time.

Thank You KIND Stranger!! May God richly Bless You and Your family!

We were blessed today.

Someone called and said they will pay our past due water bills to catch us up. It has been a bane of our existence. Simply impossible to catch up even though DH has been back at work for awhile now.

We were blessed that we had savings and survived almost 9 months without real income before things got behind. Then DH had part-time temporary jobs which only covered some of the bills so it was a cruel game of juggling what would get turned off or disconnected. That is what we would pay.

We never really told anyone how bad things got. If asked, we told someone, who inquired ,that we were trying to catch up but it seems impossible.

We haven’t expected any help from anyone. Too many people seem to be in the same situation or worst. We hear all the time of even more people being laid off.

We live in the South and people ask you how you are doing often. It is just common courtesy type of thing. They don’t REALLY want to know how you are doing and they definitely do not want details. They just want to hear good, fine, blessed or the like and move on with their day. (I am not like that and it has taken me awhile to get used to this custom. I tend to help anyone who ask for help if I am able to. )

I gave her our name and account number and she says it should be paid in full before next Friday. It may show up in the next 24 hours. The person I talked to happens to be in charge of a charity that helps people a lot. The day she spoke to me, I was running errands. She happened to ask on a day that I desperately needed to talk or vent. I don’t believe that I was really complaining. It was a God thing! I feel blessed, I can take a breath of fresh air.

I’ve ¬†wondered how God would take care of this situation but have been trying to completely just give it to HIM and stop worrying.

We have always… ¬†always paid our bills on time or even early. So the past year with the layoff was a learning experience for us.

I think I sort of felt let down and like” God, we are tithers…why is this happening to us?” As if doing the right thing is supposed to make you completely immune to the results of evils or¬†misjudgments of others. I have learned that it does NOT. Bad things happen to anyone and every one at any given time. Evil is in the world and people suffer. PERIOD.

I am going to bed and rest a good peaceful sleep. I am thankful for the generosity of others and that someone was truly listening to me and not just being courteous and following a Southern custom. She actually heard what I said and wanted to help.

My Lovely Daughters

She gave me a hug. God with skin on. She gave me a sticky note. I trust You Jesus. You died for my sins. There is nothing I’ve done to cause the series of unfortunate events of the past. I am not being punished. I can use this time to draw nearer to God.

Wednesday’s Rambled Musings

Today was a productive day.

The Greg Ott Center for physical therapy and sports performance

 

 

 

 

 

 

I had the opportunity to chat with some really nice people while waiting on D during his long physical therapy rehab sessions.  The ladies, whom I chatted with, were an elderly mother and her daughters. The mom and a daughter were in for rehab also. We sat and chat about life, children, food, and television shows. I am always enthused to meet school teachers who are not the least bit offended that I homeschool. This sweet lady even commended me and offered encouragement that I am doing the right thing for my children. She even called my children blessings after finding out I had so many. She grew up as one of five. It was an encouraging couple of hours we sat and talked and made the time go by faster.

I was also able to go through a few of the little boy items and box up some give away items. I have them stacked in the hallway so there is visual clutter. DH and I will take the items to a donation site on a day when we have plans to pass that way in a few days.

We are really enjoying studying¬†Georgia O’Keeffe! She was a great artist. I love her paintings. We are enjoying her paintings and working on our own mini replicas.

I am constantly hungry and constantly nauseous. The two are diametrically opposed!

I have 2 cameras. One is an old Canon Powershot S50 and the other is newer Nikon Coolpix S220. At any given time neither camera works. I think I have both working now. D has a basketball game tomorrow against CSCL in South Charlotte. I am praying one of the cameras will work for me. I like the Canon. It is older but the pictures are of better quality. The 10 megapixels on the Nikon doesn’t do much for us because the picture quality is poorer.

December 13, 2011 Thankful List

Daniel cleaned the living room! I can see my floor again. It is December 13th and we have no decorations up yet. I usually am excited, bake cookies with the kids, plan fun stuff to do, we love crafts and such. This year I believe the gloomies have taken residence in me and have not the faintest clue of how to evict them.

I have been praying a lot. I decided that maybe I should list as many things that I can think of that I am thankful for.

December 13, 2011 Thankful List

1. God loves me unconditionally

2. He sent His Son to save me

3. He has much grace for me

4.  My husband loves me

5.  My husband has a job

6.  Most of my children are caring people and hard workers.

7.  A lawyer may be able to help us keep our home. We have lived here for 15 years.

8.  We have a decent sized wood stove, so we can keep our house warm.

9.  I have had some great nurses caring for me, who actually seem to care and are not just doing their job.

10. My teeth aren’t hurting.

11. I still have morning sickness but I am able to keep down food now.

12. I can feel baby moving around.

13. My children are fed well.

14. We have relatively fresh filtered water to drink.

15. I have a great group of friends with my local Classical Conversations. They are definitely a God inspired group. I literally would not know what to do without them.

16. I have some great internet friends, some whom I have met and some who I have not met , but would love to meet one day!

17. We own our minivan, no payments and it runs.

18. My husband makes more than minimum wage.

19. My husband works so close to home that he rides his bike and I get to keep the van. I don’t have to get up early to take him to work or wake up early to pick him up from work or all of the crazy schedule stuff I have done this year for his temp jobs.

20. I  love planning meals, cleaning house and taking care of my family in general.

21. Daniel cleaned my living room without me asking or offering bribes or rewards.

22. I have the best mother-in-law and father-in-law. They are hard working, down to earth, just really good people.

23. My regular internal medicine doctor really listens. He heard my stomach pains and is the only doctor who felt I should be tested for celiacs. My other doctors said I just had to live forever with my IBS symptoms. This year is the first year when I have actually felt “Alive” physically.

24. Glasses. Without them my vision is poor. I am very thankful for my glasses.

25. My old Canon camera. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. It takes excellent pictures to be so old.

A Test

Yesterday after I had a great morning of worship and had my heart settled to be at peace no matter what, my sister-in-law Joni calls me. She told me she has skin cancer, melanomas on her chest. She is scheduled for surgery in August. She says I will be fine, the doctor will dig them out just like my colon cancer a few months ago and I will be fine. My heart broke for a while and I could not stop crying. Then around midnight I stopped crying. I prayed for Joni and told God I will serve HIM no matter what. God is good all the time. All the time HE is Good. I will be there for Joni and do all I can for her. Our family has been through so much this year and lots of deaths,illnesses and loss in general. My husband has even compared our year to Job. I told him, “Please don’t go there, we are so blessed.”

I had someone tell me a couple of days ago, how hard my life is and how do you cope. She said I could not handle my husband being out of work and no one working, I could not handle if my husband’s car died and we had only one car. I would be embarrassed to stuff my large family in a tiny minivan. I would worry about becoming sick if I had no insurance. I could not live in your house with only 1 window unit and no central air. She went on and on. ¬†Instead of having a pity party or feeling depressed, I told her. If you go mission trips to third world countries. Try a trip to Baguio,Philippines I am rich in so many ways. I have most basic needs met. We had the ability to have a good savings account at one time, to prepare us for times like now. We still have a car that runs fine and is paid for in full. If someone becomes sick, my¬†doctors¬†know me well, we have good rapport, I am known to pay my bills and would work out payment plans to help us out. We have a window unit that works. The house would be unbearably hot without it. We have basically disease free water. We have clothes, we have shelter. I could go on and on. I am truly thankful and grateful for what I do have. Not depressed for what I think we lack.

I believe most of our problems begin in our brain. How we think about things and our view of life. You can chose to be miserable anywhere. On the other hand you can choose to have joy or be joyful anywhere.