I sat and reflected today about how Noah and I were almost not here. It is such a blessing today that he is even having his 5th birthday.I had a rather eventful pregnancy with Noah. I had severe Hyperemesis gravidarum. It lasted well into my seventh month. I tried anything an everything. Treatments for morning sickness and nausea and vomiting in general. I even was prescribed Zofran. The Zofran helped some with the nausea. I would still vomit out of the blue. I’d feel it coming,no warning! The day I had Noah, I did not feel any labor pains. I had a weird feeling(sense) for about an hour before I told my husband, we really need to get to the hospital. I felt besides myself, but I was not in any pain. Kind of a panic attack feeling. I did not call my doctor, yet. I had hubby take me straight to the hospital. Halfway to the hospital I called my doctor’s office. I found out that my doctor is out of town and there is a doctor on call. I was sad for a moment and wanted to return home. I had a deep, sinking feeling “Something isn’t right”. I had pinching pangs in the front of my belly. It did not feel like labor. I felt really scared. We arrive at the hospital, they were waiting on us. We were given a room and I was immediately put on a fetal monitor and a contraction monitor. I was told baby looks good and that I wasn’t having any contractions yet. I told the nurse, “Something is really wrong”. She tried to assure me that everything is okay and pointed to the monitor. I had started bleeding on the way over to the hospital and told her so. She told me this is normal with multiparas( women who have had many children). I told her, “I don’t bleed until I am pushing the baby out.” She told me that I have had a lot of children and that things in your body change drastically from baby to baby. “This is normal”, she tried to reassured me. About 30 minutes later,I began having severe stabbing pains in my belly. It was as if someone was stabbing me with a hot sword or rod. I told my nurse. They( two nurses were helping me at the time) checked to see if I had dilated any. I was 3 centimeters when I arrived and only 4 when checked this time. She said, I hadn’t dialated much and my contractions are not being picked up by the monitor. She asked me if I want an epidural and then leaves my room. I screamed, YES, PLEASE!. I grabbed her arm and told her,”Please help me something is very very wrong!” I was on the verge of a panic attack or something. I knew I was going to die soon. They get my epidural in,my legs are numb and I cried to the nurse. “This stabbing pain is still there and I feel intense pressure. I emphatically stated,”If someone doesn’t help me, I am going to die soon!” I am quite sure I offended the nurse. After all she did get the good anesthesiologist in. I had a “GREAT” epidural. She even said to me that she could not understand why I was being such a big baby. “You have 5 other children. Why are you being so difficult?”, she said to me. I think about 5 minutes pass. My heart feels as if it will beat out of my chest. I hear my heartbeat in my head,ears,throat. I feel really hot and cold and clammy. I know I will pass out or something. I call my doctors office pager number for labor calls. I left a voicemail. “I am dying and I would appreciate it if someone would not let me suffer like this! Please put me out of my misery RIGHT NOW!” Next call in my series of three, “Please help me. I think I am bleeding to death and this stabbing pain won’t go away even with this STUPID epidural!” Last call, “I don’t have any strength left. I can’t take the pain anymore! PLEASE SHOOT ME!” I don’t think it was a minute later. The doctor on call was sleeping in a spare room down the hall from me. She did not know that I was here. My nurse had been following standing orders on file. The Dr. on call walks in my labor and delivery room. She sees blood everywhere. The nurse had just checked me about 5 minutes before and I was 6 centimeters at that time. Dr gloves up and said to my nurse,”Call every nurse you can get in here, we need to get this baby out and now! The baby,at that very moment, heart rate could not be found. She checked me and said you are only 8cm and the baby needs to come out now. No time for a c-section. She has me push and she has 4 or 5 nurses pushing on my belly to push him out and she suctioned at the same time. Four minutes later he is out. I am hemorrhaging and he isn’t breathing. They work on him and they work on me. I think I passed out a few times. I remember a nurse telling me to wake up a few time and he still wasn’t crying. I just wanted to sleep. I felt my bed flip, they put my head down feet up. They were pushing meds in my IV. Three nurses were massaging my belly trying to get the bleeding to stop. I heard Noah cry a very weak cry. The room got really quiet, I heard a series of weak cries, then stronger ones. They suctioned him A LOT. He had inhaled or ingested lots of blood. I think they laid him on my chest for a moment. I was too weak to even lift my hand to touch him. The doctor wanted to see if we could get baby to nurse a few minutes to help stop my bleeding. I don’t remember much. I was too weak to open my eyes and things just happened around me. I think I was in a deep sleep for at least 5 hours. When I awakened my entire family was in the room. I don’t remember much after his birth just bits and pieces, here and there. Like I remember waking up the next day,my birthday and telling my new nurse that I am so hungry. It was 2am, she brought me a turkey sandwich on white bread with a slice of lettuce,a slice tomato and mayonnaise. She also brought me some cranberry juice and pain medicine. She looked at my belly and I saw all of these hand prints and bruising and I told her I thought I was dreaming the entire thing. She told me I lost a lot of blood and need a transfusion but I had requested previously not to have a transfusion. (I was afraid of AIDS. I REALLY SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN THE TRANSFUSIONS!) I fell asleep. I am not sure if Noah was brought to me or not. Sadly, I really do not remember. I do know,when my hubby came to visit , Noah stayed in the room. When he left, he returned Noah to the nursery. I felt to ill to handle him alone. I remember eating lunch and holding Noah, shaking, afraid I would drop him. I let everyone hold him who entered my room. I insisted. After lunch, the nutrition ladies, there were two of them, came in my room singing Happy Birthday to You. I start crying, It was so unexpected and I had forgotten that it was my birthday. They continued singing I said thank you and looked at my huge cake. It was a one layer cake chocolate. A bit bigger than a bread/salad plate. Covered with strawberries and whipped cream. I had my nurse put my name label on it and put it in the refrigerator. I sat and held Noah for about an hour. I know it was the longest I had held him since birth. I thought he was a beautiful petite little boy. He was born 7 pounds and 6 ounces and 20 inches long. He was a dark baby. Dark hair and dark blue eyes and olive skin. His hair was a natural Mohawk. He had a tiny pointed nose and tiny feet. His newborn sized booties were too large. He stared at me with dark blue,piercing eyes. I sent him to the nursery a couple times so I could shower, and another time so I could walk with the nurse a bit. I was told they would not send me home if I could not walk without passing out, which I did twice. So I practiced getting up slowly and hanging out on the edge of furniture until the room stopped spinning, before standing. Poor Noah, I was told, cried the entire time he was in the nursery. I think when he stared and glared me while I talked to him, he figured I was mommy. He knew they were not and he cried until he was returned to me. We went through one heck of a delivery. God saw us through it and lead that Dr. to my Labor and Delivery room at just the right time. One minute or so later, I know, we both would have died. I am thankful that the doctor really heard me and came running. I was later told the nurse, in charge of my care, was fired that shift. The hospital did not send me a bill for his delivery or anything. They sent Lactation Consultant to visit me several times and did not charge me for her either. They sent me home with a months supply of diapers and wipes and flowers and balloons, and cards, They gave me an “It’s a Boy!” sign for my yard. Several people came to my room and apologized profusely. Even the doctor that delivered us, apologized for my care prior to delivery. She apologized for all I went through. She gave me a hug.She did everything short of encouraging me to sue the nurse for neglect. She never told the doctor entirely what had occurred.The nurse had not called the doctor or informed her I was even there. Her excuse, no pattern of labor established yet. She would have sent me home.I would not have left. I had to be dealt with. What happened medically was;when I felt weird, I had a partial placental abruption. When they were unable to pick up Noah’s heart rate, I had a complete abruption, I was hemmorhaging behind the placenta,where it had completely detached from my uterus and Noah was without oxygen. The severe pain I experienced was from the placenta prematurely separating from my uterus. Had I not followed “my instinct”, the Holy Spirit and that weird feeling, I would have reduced our chances of survival. Noah is my miracle baby. We were too close to death together. God has a plan for this little man. If you are still reading this novel of my Graphic Noah experience: Noah is a busy boy. He doesn’t sit still well, but he is always listening if he is moving, and he can remember, verbatim, anything. He draws a lot. His pictures are so detailed. He loves bright colors. He is gregarious and funny. He loves order and will neatly stack anything. He will happily sort like items for you also. Noah is not a big eater. He happily lives on crumbs and air. He is still so very petite. He attended preschool this past year. This fall he will be home schooling with his brothers. Happy Birthday to my Noah, My Miracle!