I need to return to Blogging

I think about writing daily. This has always been a way for me to maintain some sense of focus and sanity.

I do note, when later rereading my blog posts, my life has been so overwhelming and wonder how I maintain sanity, gratefulness and a sense of awe and wonder with just being alive.

I go to bed daily completely exhausted and sometimes so tired I could cry, especially when my spine is aggravated and every position I lay in is completely uncomfortable. I do not want to complain, because I can walk and still here with my children and husband. So I will continue to move on.

Actually this post may be a complete kvetching session despite my gratefulness, I must kvetch to move forward. Many things I deal with relate to the FACT that our entire medical system abandoned us by shutting down over the flu they refused to treat. I feel ALL of us are suffering from medical malpractice in some way shape or form. Including myself, my husband, my children and my parents.

I’m angry, I need to vent. I do not ask for much at ALL. I am very respectful of people. We have been collectively ABUSED! I do not want to type anything specific or completely accusatory I just needed to get that out there. I sense a collective disrespect for humanity by many especially those with money and power enough to not care.

At the moment I am overwhelmed with the amount and type of medical and physical issues that we are dealing with collectively. I spend too much time driving and not enough time resting. My aggravated spine disabuses me of my fanciful notions that I can fully care for everyone perfectly and unaffectedly continue to do as I do to care for everyone unscathed. I always feel a step behind and a dollar short but I keep doing the next thing hoping and praying that everyone is doing well or better than the day before.

I should be asleep at this moment but my back is angry and refuses to allow me to lay down. I don’t want to hang out on the Teeter { My Inversion Table} but that may be necessary, at least to relieve the spazzing.

I plan to come back here soon.

Goodnight Friends and Family.